Just speaking off the cuff of my heart today.
Last night my husband and I were watching a movie — all about the 2007 housing market crash. I remember those days well. I had just given birth to our second child – our little baby girl, Abigail. My world was very new and different. In just three years we had gone through so much change — which is for another post. We had been brought through everything – and God had blessed us with a new home, too. But we had no idea how God was working so many things for our good — seeing things that we had no idea were happening, or were going to. He was at work – protecting us from things we were completely unaware were even threatening everything we had.
We had just sold our first home — at the peak of the “good times” when home prices were soaring. We made a substantial amount of money on that home — not realizing that every penny was a blessing straight from God. Our new home was twice as expensive as our first — but it was big, and had the space our new growing family needed. And hey, we had the money, right? We were living on a single income so that I could stay at home and raise our two babies. So, it made sense to take all the money we made on the sale of our home, and put it toward the purchase of this one. We had no idea how that one decision would bless us. But God knew!
When the housing market crashed, we watched as the nearly $100,000 we had in equity on our home, plummeted … and plummeted … and completely obliterated upon impact. But we were okay. The Lord had taken care of every detail we hadn’t seen. We had a fixed mortgage rate — a very important detail. We had a mortgage within our budge — a detail only possible because of that hefty down payment. We had a home that was in an area where our kids would thrive in school and where our family would grow at our church — a detail yet to be discovered. But every detail was being worked by El Roi – “The God who sees me.”
All the things I cannot see, are being worked by El Roi – “The God Who Sees Me”! @via rldevotions
As we sat watching the movie, I realized the devastating losses that millions of Americans went through – including some of my own friends and family members. I was humbled, and I repented. I repented of all the times I have cursed this house. Yes, the newness and “blessing” seemed to wear off over the last eleven years. And with every broken fixture, unsightly feature and creaking board – I have cursed, and cursed, and cursed again. Oh how heaven must be so tired of hearing my curses!
Meanwhile, God has just been blessing, and blessing, and blessing. Even as millions of people were losing their homes, or stuck in homes that burdened them to the brink of disaster and heartache … He had given us a home that met all our needs and more. Yes, my heart was sick with repentance. You see, God has also been working the last few months to bless us with a new home. And here I have been so ready to be rid of the burden of this one. Finally, I thought — finally we will be blessed!
Oh Father ~ forgive me!
But God saw this moment too. He knew that I would curse this house – and He also knew that my heart would be overcome with sorrow because of my ungratefulness.
He blessed me anyway.
He forgave me anyway.
He understands that I am not He — I am me. He is greater than I am – because He is the great I AM.
I’m thankful that He is patient with me, and loves me even when my behavior is unlovable. I’m thankful that He chooses to pour out His blessings upon me – not because I deserve them, but because He loves me.
Step back from your circumstances and SEE. See the God who sees — El Roi. Ask Him to help your eyes see the deeper things — the things beneath the surface, beyond the present. He is faithful. Even when our eyes cannot see it yet – He is faithfully working for the good of those who love Him.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Thank you, Father. Thank you for this home. You have shown us that it is finally Your time to move us into a new home. But I need to thank You for this home! You blessed us beyond our imaginations – beyond what we deserved – beyond what we understood. And we are grateful to You! Thank you for forgiving me, for being patient with me, for loving me and taking care of all my needs – even the ones I cannot see. Thank you, my God – my Lord – my El Roi!